


Small Details

by shutupeliza



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-07-27 06:27:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16213367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shutupeliza/pseuds/shutupeliza
Summary: Something about Julian had changed, his teammates had noticed, nothing big, but he was different, sometimes you can guess a lot by paying attention to the small details.Julian had recently discovered his feelings for his best friend, they were close, but he couldn't let some small details get into his head, Presnel didn't like him the same way





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vulcanistics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vulcanistics/gifts).



> This is a gift for vulcanistics, I also haven't written anything in years so be indulgent this is my big come-back guys

Julian's eyes were barely open, his morning coffee and breakfast that he had troubles finishing, did nothing to help how he felt. He was half sleeping at the breakfast table, despite the sweet rumpus of his teammates around him.

« Well Jule, still having trouble with your alarm clock ? You know, we, French people have an expression when people are having a hard time waking up »started Christo, wrapping his arm around the German's shoulders « Il ne faut pas faire des folies de son corps » he finished with a smirk, raising his eyebrows up and down, apparently very proud of himself.

Julian frowned, never having heard this expression before, he started wondering about the hidden meaning of it, when he finally got what it meant, his face went bright red and he started stuttering to the midfielder.

« No, no... that's not it » Nkunku laughed at how fast the German want to defend the honor of his late night activities « I just slept really bad »

« Mmh, yeah okay if you say so » concedes Christo, faking not being convinced, even though he knew for a fact the his German teammate would never undergo Tuchel's no-women-in-the-bedrooms policy.

The midfielder finally let go of Julian and let him laboriously continue his breakfast. Barely a minute went by before Kevin took the sit Christo was in, and threw Julian a concerned glare.

« Slept really bad, huh ? How did that even happen, you usually sleep like a baby ? » the goalie had noticed the smallest of changes with the younger German player, for a few weeks now.

He had first assumed it was due to their crushing defeat in Russia, but it had been going on for too long now. Julian wasn't moping 24/7, not at all, but some small and maybe insignificant details weren't left unnoticed by Kevin. Julian was sometimes sulky, sometimes he was lost in his thoughts, some other times he would leave the room the team was gathering in to relax out of the blue without any explanations. The detail that Kevin noticed this morning was the barely touched breakfast by Jule who was usually eating like a horse everytime they were on meal-breaks. What Kevin notcied as well was the visible lack of sleep Jule had on his face, and he knew Julian need had sleep issues before or very rarely.

Julian shrugged at Trapp's question.

Kevin stopped himself from sighing, not annoyed, rather frustruated to not be able to help his friend. He didn't want to force him into talking, he knew that would do no good, he just wanted to remind his friend that he was there if Draxler wanted to talk.

« Next time you... sleep badly, you can come see me if you'd like, you know that, right ? » he told him « If you need to talk, you can come to me, just like I know i can come to you if I need to talk »

When he heard those words, the younger of the two finally glanced at the goalie, and he was met with Kevin's sincere but concerned glare. 

Julian nodded, thankful, knowing all too well that he would never go talk to Kevin about what was going on with him, not right now.

How could he do that ? How could he explain to the goalkeeper that if he didn't sleep the night before it was mostly because of Kylian and Presnel who had spend the entire evening fooling around like kids, teasing each other, and then had cuddled on the couch until way past midnight ? How could he expain that he had left the room, two weeks prior, it was simply because he couldn't bare the sight of Presnel's hand slowly running on Marco's thighfor over 20 minutes as if nothing was happening, it had come naturally, and that Julian had to leave when he felt tears coming at the corner of his eyes ? How could he explain to Kevin that each time the defender wasn't on sight he was constantly looking for him? How could he explain that each time Presnel was touching someone that wasn't him, he was dying to be that person ?

How could he explain to Kevin that he had fell in love with his best friend ? How could he explain something that he couldn't even understand ?


	2. Small attentions

What Julian had taken a really long time to noticed was those small attentions Presnel had for him. He had never measured how much of a difference there was between what Presnel did for him and what Presnel did for anybody else. The defender was generous at heart, the German had naturally assumed it was normal, he hadn't realised he was getting some special treatment, an even more special treatment than Presnel's other friends. 

Presnel would put a beanie on Julian's head when the temperature would drop a little too low during a training session. It was usually him that'd bring Julian his morning coffee, his oh so precious coffee the doctors were trying to make him quit. In the evening, when they were letting themselves have a break after a long day, Julian would sit on the floor in front of the couch Presko was sitting on, or he'd sit at the bottom of the bed Kim was on. During those moments, Presnel would sometimes end up running a hand on Julian's neck, massaging the knots he always had. Julian could go on for hours about all the small things his best friend did for him.

But those small attentions were like second nature for them, all that tenderness, that complicity, that blind and mutual trust, and Julian just hadn't noticed them in the first place, they were pretty much always the result of something ; Presnel had put a beanie on his head so he was warm, Presnel massaged his neck so he wasn't stiff anymore. Julian had started to see those small attentions under a new light, the massage wasn't just easing the pain, it was also Presnel's hands starting a fire in his entire body. The beanie his put on his cold head wasn't only keeping the freezing cold out, it was now a convenient excuse to feel Kim's fingers resting a couple of seconds too long on his neck and face as he was adjusting it. The coffee he brought in the morning wasn't only welcomed for the quick wakening effect he had, but because alongside came Presnel's even warmer smile. Julian was fully aware that even though for Presnel, those small attentions were just in fact, small attentions, for the German they had become much more when he had started realising something had changed he couldn't put a word on it, he didn't know what to think of the situation. Should he even think something of it? They had always acted that way around each other why would it change anything if suddenly Julian felt a spark anytime Kim touched him, why would it change anything if Julian started to smile stupidly anytime he saw Presnel enter a room? Why would Julian ruin everything for some stupid butterflies in his stomach? And most importantly, why was he asking for more, always more?

« You okay babe? » Presnel immediately put him out of the mental loop he had stuck himself in. 

The German was sitting on a couch, a book he wasn't reading any more in his hands, the French had arrived behind him and had wrapped his arms around him, snuggling his face his the older's neck.

Julian smiled despite himself.

« Yeah, how about you? You got nothing else to do » he asked

«Why you don't wanna see me, is that it ? » teased the defender, faking being outraged.

« Since when can I live without you ? » answered Julian, teasing back, his tone serious, playing his best friend's game.

« I knew fully well already that you can't live without me, babe » he jumped over the back of the couch and took place right beside his teammate, his head finding back the space it had just left on Julian's neck, who abandoned the idea of reading his book for good, throwing it on the coffee table before them. 

Presnel let his hand rest on Jule's wrist and began playing with the skin there without a second thought, he started idly tracing circles and other unidentified forms with his thumb. Julian had been used to this for long ow, but the touch electrised him each time a little more since he realised his feelings for Kim had changed. He tentatively turned his hand upward, so Presnel could put his fingers on the other side of his wrist, which he did before moving his hand closer downward and took Julian's hand without saying a word. 

It was nothing, Presnel often took people's hand, right? Julian was sure he had already seen him do so. Of course, he was his best friend, but he wasn't getting some kind of special treatment. He was getting ideas. Yeah, that's what it was, Julian wanted to get a special treatment from Presko so bad that he had started imagining all kinds of things, right? He had let things get into his head. If Presnel was taking his hand with such ease it was simply because Presnel was very touchy with people. And definitely not because Kim felt the same spark that had ignited a fire in Jule's body.


	3. Feelings turn your head upside down sometimes

Julian now spent most of his time trying to keep in mind that Presnel didn't share his feelings, not in the same way. He knew he meant a lot for his best friend, but that his feelings were platonic. Julian took a couple of seconds, every time Presnel put his arms around him in a tight hug, a little too long than what was usually expected from a hug, to remind himself that Presnel took a lot of people in his arms. What kind of difference did it make that he clung onto his waist, or that he ran his hand in his hair when he embraced him? He just didn't realise what he was doing...And even if the French did, there was no ulterior motive to it, right?

He didn't let himself hopelessly dream, he knew all the ambiguous gestures Presnel could have for him, were only ambiguous in the German's mind. He knows he's making a fuss about little things because he wanted so deeply for those things to mean something. That's why Julian makes such an effort to accept everything his French teammate has to offer without ever hoping for more. 

Kevin came into the room Julian was sitting in and took the seat next to him.

«So? » Julian lifted his eyes, the older man was raising his eyebrows « Do you wanna talk about it ? » he asked, his head tilted a little to the side, like a child who's trying the grasp a concept they're not familiar with, his face was serious.

« Talk about what ? » the youngest replied, frowning.

Kevin took a deep breath « About what's been messing with that mind of yours for two months now » 

Julian opened his mouth but the goalie didn't give him time to interject « Look, I'm not saying you're always depressed, we still laugh as much as we used to, we still have a lot of great moments together Jule, but » he rubbed the back of his neck, nervously. 

« Something seems off as if there was always a small part of your mind that was elsewhere, thinking about something else and that thing is messing with you. I don't like seeing you like that Jule, I don't like knowing there is nothing I can do »

« Don't worry about me Kevin » he gave a smile he hoped was convincing, or that would at least put the goalie's mind at ease « It's not much, and there is nothing we can do about it »

« Maybe you're right, and there is nothing we can do, but maybe there is also a chance that talking about it will make you feel a bit better, sharing could make it easier for you, knowing you don't have to keep all of that to yourself, this is a heavyweight you seem to be carrying alone »

Julian knew Kevin was right, he knew he could trust his friend. He was convinced that he wouldn't judge him, but he still couldn't bring himself to say it, the words were just stuck at the bottom of his throat.

« I've... » he tried without success

Kevin put a reassuring hand on his thigh « You don't have to if you're not ready, I'm not here to force you into talking, I'm here to let you know that I'm here and that I'll always be Drax »

Julian gave him a thankful and sincere smile, it meant a lot to him to see that his friend only ever wanted him to be alright.

Kevin got on his feet and took a couple of steps before Julian started talking again.

« I have feelings for someone, but there is no way this is going to work out »

Kevin turns around slowly and shot a smirk that gave away a mix of relief and compassion. He went back to Julian and sat again.

« So that's it? It's a love trouble? » he smiled, teasing « Since you and Lena broke up, you never had anyone else in mind, boy if I had known a girl would turn your head upside down like that » he laughed

Julian's jaw clenched before he could stop it. Of course, Kevin would assume it was a woman, why would he think any different? Julian had never given any indications that he could be attracted to men before? He couldn't blame him, but now that Kevin had talked about a woman, the midfielder felt it was even harder to bring it up, to tell Trapp that he was wrong.

« That's... » he sighed with some difficulties and cleared his throat « Yeah feelings turn your head upside down sometimes » he forced himself to smile, but it was tensed and he knew it.

The goalie jokingly punched his shoulder « Come on, it's not that bad, why do you think this ain't gonna work? I never knew you were such a pessimist man »

Julian shrugged, not knowing what to answer.

« Have you seen that face? That smile? Any woman would be crazy to say no to you » he scoffed « I swear to God, I'm sure even some guys wouldn't be able to resist » he added wrapping an arm around the younger's shoulders.

Julian swallowed deeply, coughed to gather his thoughts and throw and glance he didn't know was pleading to Kevin.

He knew Kevin had said it without any second thought, he had just wanted to lift up his mood, but it had had the opposite effect.

Kevin's eyes went wide.

« Oh... » he let his arm fall from Draxler's shoulders « that's a guy, right? »


	4. I'm sorry

Julian opens his mouth without being able to make to make any sound, then closes it. He opens his mouth again and repeats the same process three times. Everything is going too fast for his mind; should he lie to his friend? Should he tell the truth? Should he be saying anything at all? What could happen if he tells Kevin the truth? 

Eventually, he closes his mouth and lowers his head, his face bright red and warm from the shame he’s feeling. This is it, the moment he’s been dreading for, Kevin’s arm already left his body since he realised he was… What even is he by the way? Not the moment Draxler, get your shit together, he tells himself.

Kevin wasn’t talking anymore, he wasn’t touching him anymore, he wasn’t even looking at him anymore.

In this very moment Julian was frightened, his worst fears, the ones he didn’t realise he had in him, were coming to life. Kevin didn’t dare to look at him. Julian would give anything for Kevin to say something, anything. Silence was perhaps the worst kind of tortures in such a situation. 

Because with silence, came along the nightmare scenarios your mind create out of fear. Kevin must be thinking about how much Julian had messed with him, feeling betrayed. He must already be thinking about telling the whole team, so they know how much Julian has been lying to them over the past couple month, thinking about telling Tuchel, they couldn’t technically keep a guy like him in the team, that would be too much drama and bad publicity for the club if it ever went public, they could never risk that. Worst of all Julian tells himself that Kevin must be thinking that he is the one Draxler has feelings for. He must be disgusted and think that his friend somehow took advantage of their friendship…

For the first time since the goalkeeper took a seat next to him, Draxler feels the tears coming up, one tear rolls on his cheek before he can control anything.

The older of the two puts a warm and comforting hand on the midfielder’s thigh.

« I’m sorry you had to go through this alone. I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about this” Trapps finally raises his head and gives the most sincere and soft smile Julian has seen on his face “I really am sorry Jule”

He let go of his thigh to take his hand, squeezing it gently, keeping them linked, proof of his affection and of the comfort he wants to bring to the younger player.

They stay like this in silence for a long time, without having it be too much for either of them, taking comfort in each other. Julian let the tears, he kept in for too long, run on his cheeks.

*****

Once training has passed, which Julian spent in a daze, and the recap is done, the team is sent to the physical therapists to let their muscles go cold without risks and to prevent possible injuries. The young German is laying on the massage table, his knee is still hurting him so he has to stay longer than the others. He is answering texts, checking social media, idly scrolling his different feeds. 

“Babe !” he hears Presnel’s voice, loud as usual, calling for him as he enters the room. He looks up from his phone to see the defender greeting him with a smile to die for. The youngest comes to sit at the end of the table, and grab the leg Julian is not getting massaged to let it rest over his own thighs so he can have more space to sit on.

“Wanna do something tonight? We only have afternoon training, we can spend the evening together and sleep in on the morning, what are you saying babe ?” 

It didn’t take a long time for Julian to settle on an answer, it had been a tough day for him, emotionally draining. And even though Presnel was the cause of most of his emotional troubles lately, he was still the only person who could cheer him up no matter what. After the emotional roller coaster the day had been, all he craved was some peace of mind and Presko by his side.

He nodded with a large smile on his face as an answer “I’m almost done with my leg, shall we go right after?” 

While the number 23 is finishing with his massage they agree to spend the evening at the French’s place, Julian promised he’d make dinner after Kim lied for ten minutes straight about being incapable of cooking even a simple dish of pasta. Their both knew it was total bullshit and that the defender was just ready to say anything so he wouldn’t have to cook.

“Great” scoffs Jule “the guy invites me over and I’m the one who has to do the cooking, we’d never do that kind of thing in Germany” he sits on the table, taking his shirt to put it back on, when he realises that his French teammate is staring at his chest.

“There are a lot of things that we do here, that you guys don’t do in Germany” shoots back Kim, apparently fascinated by his friend’s chest from which he won’t look away.

Julian clears his throat and puts his shirt back on as fast as he can. Get it together Draxler, he was probably lost in his thoughts and just started staring at something random, no need to think about it for 2 years.

Presnel suddenly raises his eyes and keeps looking Julian, tilting his head to the side ever so slightly, squinting his eyes a little, focusing, and Julian his pretty sure he caught a glimpse of Presnel biting the inside of his lip. No matter what it is about Julian that put Kim in such a state, is not much important apparently, since Presnel doesn’t make any comment. A Presnel who remains silent is a Presnel who got control of the situation.

Julian rises up putting the rest of his clothes back on. They quickly head for the locker room to put away the things they don’t need. Layvin offers to grab a drink together.

“Sorry bro, it’s just babe and I tonight” replies Presnel, wrapping his arm around Draxler’s shoulders “He’s even gonna cook for me I’m not gonna miss this for the world” he lowers his arms until it’s settled around the German’s waist “We’re gonna watch Netflix until our eyes bleed and sleep like babies on my couch”

Layvin makes a big effort to appear hurt and dramatically raises his hand above his heart

“You rats, you traitors, you frauds” he lets himself falls onto the locker bench “I can see now that I don’t have my place in that little couple of yours”

Presnel brings Julian closer to him and leads them to the exit “We can do that next weekend man” he tells Layvin before leaving.

They walk through the long corridors of the sports complex, take too many turns left and too many turns right until they’re finally in the parking lot outside where they head for Kim’s car.

Since they were in the locker room, Presnel’s arm hadn’t left Julian’s waist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene between Kevin and Julian was mostly based on my personal experience while coming out, I wanted this scene to feel realistic without being too boring or too cliché, so I went for what I knew, and what I felt. Of course, I changed a lot of things so it would be more sincere and fit Julian's situation more


	5. Torture

They reach Presnel’s car in silence, his arm eventually has to let go of the German’s body. Julian finds himself missing the sensation right away, but pulls himself together, taking a seat on the passenger side of the car. Kim starts the engine and Naza blasts full volume in the car, making Julian sigh, amused.

They spend the commute the same way they always do when they’re together. Presnel drives while dancing and screaming song lyrics here and there, while Julian laughs at his friend’s behaviour careful to keep an eye on the road, his left hand ready to quickly take the wheel in case he has to.

Once they’ve reached the number 3’s apartment, Presnel starts pestering his best friend about wanting to eat this, and this, and this.

“You’ll eat what I make with what I find in your cupboards” Presnel pouts, so Julian adds “I already am making dinner for your pretty eyes, if you wanted something grand, you should’ve ordered something” he scolds him, taking place on the bar.

Presnel comes closer, an unusual light in his eyes while tilting his head on the side as he did before in the massaging room. He stands right in front of the other man, who is sitting on the bar, making the Frenchman, the shorter of the two for once.

“So you think I have pretty eyes, Drax?” he is smirking and carefully places his hands on the counter on each side of the brown-haired man’s. 

Julian holds the Frenchman’s gaze in a foolish hope that it’ll give him to keep himself together, he breathes slowly, swallowing, trying to not give away the fight that is taking place in his mind at this very moment. 

He knew Presko was playing, having fun, that he wasn’t being serious, as it was often the case with Presnel. It was common knowledge, everybody knew that Kim liked to tease and have fun. Julian thought that denying and pushing him away would only look suspicious, so he played along.

“Of course I do, I like your eyes” he smiles weakly “who wouldn’t like those eyes ?”

Presnel grins back, closing his eyes, trying to fight back a scoff, when he opens them back he has an outrageously fake flirty face plastered on.

“Tell me what else you like about me babe?” with a swift hip move he pushes one of Julian’s knee on the side, then the other, slowly moving and taking place between his best friend’s thighs.

Julian feels his breathing stop and closes his eyes without meaning to when he starts to feel Presko's hands hovering on his body and settling on his hips. He's focusing on all the energy his body has left to open his eyes. Presnel is staring at him, clearing having fun.

“So? Are you going to tell me whatchu like about me babe?”

Julian bites the inside of his cheek, trying to draw his attention and focus on the pain he is causing, quickest and easiest way to think about something else he had found out. Presnel’s body was so close to his, settled between his thighs, he was touching him, his thumbs running in circles on his hips and it was all Julian could think of, he desperately needed to start thinking about something else, literally anything else would do rather than the thought of the Frenchman’s body almost melting with his own or Julian’d soon be in a very embarrassing situation. 

“I like… when you’re always late” he finds it difficult to answer, difficult to breathe altogether, he needs to get the conversation back on track, to dissolve the tension in his body “I like waiting for you each time you’re late, I like the way you always scream when you start to sing your awful music, I always end up having a migraine. I like not being able to shower at peace after a long training session, because you’re so busy putting your music as loud as you can, and jumping on everyone in the locker room”

Presnel takes an outraged face

“And here I was thinking you loved me more than that...You’re breaking my heart Jule”

He pulls away from the German, laughing, the latter takes the longest and deepest inspiration he has probably ever taken in his life, before getting back on his feet, moving to the other side of the counter to start making the dinner he promised Presnel. 

“Ready” he announces with both plates in his hands, heading for the large couch, where Presnel had put Netflix on, while Julian was cooking.

Julian sits next to the Frenchman with a distance which he considers to be socially acceptable. Presnel straightens and comes closer to Draxler, leaving so little space between them, that only a thigh could fit. 

The TV show is playing on the screen as they eat, Presnel is making comment every now and then on a scene. After two episodes, Kim innocently let his head fall onto Julian’s shoulder. That kind of gesture isn’t unusual between the two of them, so the midfielder doesn’t think much of it, focusing on Presnel’s cologne surrounding him. Kim’s hand sneaks down Julian’s thigh and start fiddling with the grey sweatpants under his fingers. 

The defender’s palm is warm and heavy against Julian, every time Presnel touched him, the German felt a spark, but now what he felt was a fire, taking possession of his entire body, the smoke blinding his mind. An out of control kind of wildfire which Kim didn’t seem to realise the effect it had on his friend, as he kept on idly playing with the tip on his fingers on Julian’s thigh. And as Julian was concentrating on keeping a steady and slow breathing in order to not find himself in a compromising situation he’d have troubles explaining to Presnel, the Frenchman suddenly lets his hand run closer to the inner side of Julian’s thigh.

What kind of friend does this, Julian wonders, Presnel must’ve totally lost his mind. He couldn’t be subjecting Julian to such torment consciously, to this sweet torture which never seemed to end, Presnel’s hand remains there drawing circles onto Jule’s sweatpants. No, Julian, no friend did this kind of thing, so why would Presnel torture him like so? What did he have to gain in all this? 

Julian rises quickly, letting Presko’s head fall from his shoulder.

“It’s getting late, I should head home”

Presnel furrows his brows “But… we don’t have any training session tomorrow morning, you could stay a little longer?”

“I really am tired, today’s session was quite rough”

Presnel settles back on the couch “ANd how are you coming back home without your car?” 

Julian clears his throat “You could drop me maybe if it’s not too much ?”

“Okay I drop you off, how do you come to training tomorrow afternoon? If you don’t recall you left your car at the training centre’s parking lot”

Is that for real, thinks the German, he is doing it on purpose? Did he set everything up? 

Presnel sits back up “I can drop you off at the parking lot to get your car if that’s what you want, but you’re gonna be home really late… You could always sleep here if you’d like? You already got some of your stuff here”

Julian turns back slowly to the screen, his torture will not come to an end for now.

“I’m not gonna lie, I don’t really wanna be alone tonight, I’m having a hard time being alone these days” Presnel explains “If you want me to drop you off, there is no problem babe, but I’d like for you to stay, I’m good when I’m with you”

Julian can only smile slowly, Kim was also the only one who could cheer him up, today was proof of that, so he nods

“Okay I’m staying” Kim smiles and Julian can feel the fire melting his heart, God does he love that smile “We can watch one more episode and then I’m sleeping”

The number 3 starts one last episode for the night and gets comfortable on the couch, or rather, gets comfortable on Julian, letting his head rest on Julian’s lap who instinctively runs his fingers in the younger’s hair and on his neck. Julian doesn’t see the end of the episode, sleep catches him before.


	6. Another breakfast

A ray of sunshine burns a hole through Julian’s closed eyelids, he squints so his eyes can find some peace from the murderous light which sneakily found its way through. The second thing he notices is the heavy and comforting weight on top on him, heavier than a blanket, but it doesn’t cover as much his body as a blanket would. 

This weight, he realises quickly, are Presnel’s limbs tangled with his own. What he realises as well is that he fell asleep on his best friend’s gigantic couch, the night before. The thing he can’t put his finger on, is why, when he could have slept in his own room, in his own bed, did Kim stayed with him ? Going as far as sleeping on top on him.

Because it wasn’t the usual kind of sleeping on the couch with friends after a long night Julian had had before, no it wasn’t. He had cradled his head in the older’s neck, his nose rested against his throat Julian could feel the steady breath against his skin,his arm had unconsciously swung over Julian’s waist during the night, his hand had found its way under his shirt, and the tip of his fingers were dangerously close to the hem of his sweatpants, one of them had actually slipped under Julian’s waistband. 

Julian keeps his eyes closed, trying to focus on something other than this hand, this finger, this nose and the slow breathing that came along with it, trying to focus on something that is not Presnel’s scent surrounding everything around him.

What he finds himself having real troubles not to think about was this thigh, that had snidely slid between Julian’s over the course of the night. The German is trying to think and focus on the most disgusting thing his mind can come up with, he’s thinking about serious issues, his mind wanders to the episode he fell asleep watching the night before, every detail serves as an excuse to keep his mind away from his best friend’s thigh between his own, this thigh, way too close to his morning wood. If Julian’d focus a bit more on the feeling of Presnel’s thigh against him, he’d notice that it is brushing ever so slightly against his morning problem, but Julian is not thinking about that, no he’s not.

After a few minutes, spent thinking about cooking recipes, baby seals being massacred, and even Donald Trump wearing a thong, Julian finally composes himself and start breathing evenly again.

Why has Presnel not had the common sense to go back to sleep in his room ? And why in hell did he smell that good ? 

He hears the Frenchman groan softly, clearly waking up. Kim rubs slowly his nose against Julian’s neck, sleep was leaving his body and unconsciously his body holds back to what was surrounding him, the German’s neck, against which his rubs his face, seeking the warmth of Julian’s skin, his waist around which his arm tightens. His nose leaves his neck, replaced by Kim’s lips, they stay here, unmoving, casually taking place against the warm skin, the sweetest kind of agony the midfielder could be confronted to.

Presnel groans again, and a smile forming on his face, a smile Julian is able to feel against his skin.

“Did you sleep well ?” whispers the defender, his voice thick with sleep.

Jule clears his throat and answers with a mumble. 

After a few minutes of silence, during which Presnel completely wakes up, the Frenchman rises, settling on his elbows still above his best friend. He offers Julian a smile, which melts his heart like it always does. The elder answers, smiling without thinking like he does every time he sees Presnel being happy.

They eventually rise from the couch, Julian claims he wants a shower, and he knows a shower will do him only good, but it’s mostly an excuse to stay away from Kim for a while and to clear his poor head as well.

Presnel uses this time to make some kind of breakfast, he usually is good with just cereals and toasts most of the time, but he takes a few eggs as well, them being Julian’s favorite for breakfast. He wants to do something nice for his teammates after all Julian had cooked dinner for both of them last night, that was the least he could do now.

He gets the plates ready on the bar counter, when he hears the shower turn off and the door to his bedroom opening a couple of minutes later, he doesn’t worry about it, he knows that the clothes he insisted Julian brought over “just in case” were in one of his drawers.

Breakfast is served in his plate right when Julian arrives, he sits and is suddenly fighting the urge to kiss Presnel when he sees, not only eggs in his plate, but also the biggest mug of coffee he could possibly dream of, a mug he knows he’ll chug down within the next five minutes. 

“Thanks, you have no idea how much I actually needed this Pres”

“Anything you want, babe” he smiles from the other side of the counter. bar

Julian swallow his breakfast without barely chewing it, he’s definitely a pig when he eats. He looks up and notices that Presnel is peering at him, a shy smile at the corner of his lips, his spoon is his left hand, but he hasn’t started eating his cereals yet. Julian raises an eyebrow.

“What’s going on, you don’t wanna eat?”

Presnel smirks, looking down his bol, without interest, and glances back up, tilting his head slightly on the side. It’s starting to be customary for him, and Julian knows he will eventually lose his composure if he keeps doing that, does Presnel even knows how beautiful he is when he does that ?

Presnel stares intensely into his best friend’s eyes, unconsciously licking his bottom lip.

“Let’s just say that’s not the thing I’d rather have a taste of this morning” he explains mysteriously, his eyes never leaving Julian’s

Julian frowns “You mean…” he hesitates, not sure what his French teammate actually means by that “You wanna try something else?”

Presnel doesn’t answer, licking his lips once again, Julian follows the course of his tongue without meaning to, that tongue that seems to be taunting him.

“There is nothing else you could eat in the cupboards ?” he suggests, trying to find a solution for the breakfast his friend left behind.

Presnel let a loud laugh out of his mouth, his head falling back in reverse. Julian gets more and more confused by his weird attitude, what was so funny about the sentence he had just said, was it some kind of French private joke he couldn’t grasp?

“No, don’t worry, it appears I can’t have what I want, I’ll just have my cereals”

Julian lowers his head, dropping the subject.

He starts thinking that he too, would have like to have a taste of something else for breakfast. He would have given up a thousand eggs plates if it meant it could taste Presnel’s lips. But halas, he thinks, it appears he couldn’t have what he so deeply wanted either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been a lot longer than usual for the new part, i've been so sick lately, and still am, that it's been complicated for me to focus on writing  
> I hope you enjoyed this short part


	7. To be a good friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys it's been so long since I've written anything, but I'm back, I didn't forget the story, just got lost with work and personal life.  
> I'm sorry if you got high hopes for this part, it's not very long, and focused on Kevin, because he's about to play a much bigger part in the future of this story and I had to start somewhere didn't I ?   
> I hope you'll still like it

Kevin tightens the laces of his boots, getting ready to head outside of the locker-room for the afternoon training. He’s still thinking about the tears that had run down Julian’s face a few days before, when, without actually saying a word, he admitted having feelings for a man. Kevin had been so ashamed of himself, for his lack of tactfulness. He was also ashamed about how lightly he had said those things as if Julian having feelings for another man were the most unlikely thing that could possibly happen. Besides he was also ashamed for not having been there for his friend, and that Julian had to suffer all alone, without any shoulder to cry on, possibly terribly distraught.

When he had seen Julian’s tears running down his face, he had sworn to himself to do everything in his power to always be there for the younger man, to protect him, and make him as happy as he could. He just sincerely hoped the feelings Julian had developed were not for him. Not that it would bother Kevin to know that he had more than friendly feelings for him but because he knew he could never return his affections, and he didn’t want to cause Julian any more pain than he was already feeling.

He hears Marco talking nearby with Thiago but doesn’t pay them any attention. Ever since the reveal of the number 23’s feelings a few days prior, Kevin came up with a strategy which goal was to cheer his friend up. His initial plan was to make the one Julian had feelings for, love Julian back, but Kevin had realised it was highly impractical ; how could he discover who was the one that had Julian’s heart in his hands ? How could he know for sure that his feelings could be returned ? Too many aspects were out of his control in the equation. The goalkeeper had turned to another plan. 

He was going to cheer Julian up, no matter what it would cost for him, he’d try to find out who had stolen Drax’s heart in the process and figure out if there was any way this guy could love him back. Plan number 1 had just been put aside, not abandoned. His top priority was to make Draxler happy, but if he could help him and find out a way for him to have a tiny bit much more love in his life, why wouldn’t he ?

What appeared as most logical for Kevin was that Julian’s affections were for another player. Was he part of their team ? Of PSG ? Of the Mannschaft ? Of another team ? For starters all the players spent most of their time surrounded by other players, plus, Kevin hadn’t forgotten about all those sudden mood changes that had randomly occurred over the past weeks with Jule, all those time he had left a room without a word and without any apparent reason, Kevin wonders if perhaps they were linked ? That left little to no room for a man who was anything else but a player. Kevin had to bow to the almost evidence ; Julian had feelings for one of their teammates. The question still stands however : who was he ?

Kevin was trying to not turn every situation, every pat on the back, or every smile Jule had for another player into an evidence that it was this player and not this one, Drax liked. The goalkeeper keeps in mind as best as he can that his goal was not to find out who, but that his goal is to make Julian feel better, everything else was only a bonus. Julian’s happiness and smile should always come before Kevin’s curiosity. To be a good friend is to put the other’s happiness over your desire to know. He already feels guilty about making Julian tell him before he was ready, he’ll not force him into another confession to tell him something he wasn’t ready to tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, the next chapter, will feature (tiny teaser) Julian doing lots of cuddling to someone and said someone falling asleep on Julian, until eventually, Julian falls asleep as well  
> Who could this person be ??? (spoiler alert : not Presnel)


	8. You're saving me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ? Have you found out who's going to be cuddled by Julian and fall asleep in his arms ? (STILL NOT Presnel)

“Babe, there was something I wanted to ask you, but you can say no, right ?”

Julian turns his head to look at Presnel while they’re running around the training field. He scoffs at how serious the Frenchman’s face is.

“Well that must be really serious, seeing the face you’re making right now”

“You know we’ve got an upcoming match with the French team” starts Presnel “And my family’s coming to see me play that night, and I know you need to leave for Germany a couple of days later, you don’t have to say yes but that would mean the world to me if you could…”

Where is Presnel going with that ? Is he trying to invite him to come to the stadium to see him play ? Julian had already come several times before, why all the fuss ?

“The thing is, since my family will be there, I won’t have anybody to take care of Kayis that night…”

Oh...Wait… Is Presnel actually asking him that ? Not that it bothers the young German, far from it actually, but, Kim was really trying to ask him to watch over his son ? The most precious thing he could have on Earth, and he wanted Julian to be the one to take care of him ?

“I wouldn’t ask you otherwise, bébé, but i don’t want him to come at the stadium, there is going to be too much noise, he’d be in the cold, I want to know that he’s safe and warm, Sarah will be there as well, so you’re the only person available I trust enough”

Julian feels a pinch in his heart when he talks about Sarah, as if Presnel was holding a sign over his head that said “he will never love you” in giant neon letters. Of course Julian knows Presko and her had broken up months ago, but they were still on very good terms, and no matter what she’ll always be Kayis’ mother. He chases this thought from his mind, and smiles to his friend.

“I’ll take care of him, don’t worry”

Presnel’s face lightens and he can see the relief written all over it, and just for this, Julian would play the role of the baby-sitter every night if he had to.

“Thank you ! Fuck you got no idea how badly you’re saving me, babe”

That’s how Julian, poor Julian, found himself a few days later standing in the middle of Presnel’s living-room, while the Frenchman was walking all around the apartment, his son seated on his hip, and explaining everything Julian needed to know, from the bottles for the bay’s meal, to the emergency numbers, the diapers, the bath ritual, the pacifier and even which stuffed animals were his favorites.

“And if there is ANY problem, don’t forget, you call my mom, are you sure you saved her number on your phone ?”

“Yes I did, don’t worry Kim, everything will be alright” Julian smiles, letting his hand run on his friend’s arm, to comfort the anxious dad.

Presnel takes a deep breath, and closes his eyes, and cradles Kayis’ head so it rests against his neck.

“I’m sorry, it’s just going to be the first time you’ll have him, and I’m worried about forgetting something. I know I can trust you, and I totally do babe, I just don’t want to miss something in case you ever need it”

He kisses the kid’s head as he babbles trying to grab his father’s t-shirt collar. Julian can’t help but smile at the sight he has in front of him, Pres, who’s always up to some mischief and a good laugh, is as serious as Julian as ever seen him, and Kayis, seems to be so comfortable in his father’s arms. Julian knows the boy can feel how much love his dad has for him. The older man realised how much he too loves the bloy and how he wish he could see him more often, but he’s usually with Sarah when Jule comes over at Kim’s. The baby looks just like his dad, with a round face and this smile that never seems to leave his face.

When time comes for Presnel to finally leave Julian alone with his son, Julian laughs at how much fuss Presnel is making about saying goodbye to his boy. Kayis is settled in Jule’s arms, his head rests on his neck, and Presnel just won’t stop giving him kisses on the cheek, awfully close to Julian’s face. The Frenchman eventually takes a step back, sighing when he realises he doesn’t have any time left and that he needs to go now if he doesn’t want Deschamps to throw a fit. He gives Julian a smiles, taking a step forward to give him a huge kiss on the cheek.

“There you go, a kiss for you as well, so no one’s jealous”

Julian can feel his face turn red instantly.

“Don’t hesitate to sleep in my bed if you want to sleep, I don’t know late it’s gonna be when I get home” says the defender before closing the door behind him.

Julian spends the afternoon caught up in baby bottles and toys, he miraculously has only one diaper to change. He talks in French to the baby boy, but let one of two sentences in German, he doesn’t think Kayis notices anyway and that won’t hurt him to hear another language. He remains amazed every time Kayis stares at him with his bright dark eyes, that remind him of his father’s. Several times during the afternoon the baby stares at him for a couple of seconds and then offers Julian the brightest smile he has ever seen on a baby’s face. Draxler can feel his heart melt almost each time it happens.

In the evening he puts Kayis in his baby lounger with his favorite toy to make another bottle and look for a jersey to change him after he’s done eating. He decides to take a picture and to send it to Presnel.

“ ** _to Presko_** ”

_we’re both watching and supporting you !! ♥_

Julian takes Kayis on his knees and turn the TV on, waiting for the match to start, the baby boy settles against the German’s chest and let his tiny head rest on his neck. Draxler kisses the top of the young Kimpembé’s head who’s trying to catch his t-shirt collar like he did earlier with his father’s.

Julian’s phone goes off, telling him that he had received a text, it’s from Presnel.

“ _ **from Presko**_ ”

 _my parents at the stadium and my men at home ♥ give him a kiss for me, would_ you ? _I love you both_

Julian’s heart missed a beat, or several it seems. He didn’t know if that was due to the “my men” part or the “I love you both” one. It was most likely a mix of both. So he does as he was told and give another kiss on Kayis’ head, who’s letting his tiny hand rest right under his collar, his chubby fingers touching his clavicule.

“Daddy loves you” he tells the child softly in his ear.

As the match starts, Julian is pretty sure that Kayis is fast asleep or on the verge of sleeping, he lowers the TV’s volume and grabs a blanket that was laying on the back of the couch, wrapping it around their bodies.

The match comes to an end, Kayis still hasn’t moved, and Julian realises that he hasn’t eaten anything tonight, but he looks down at Kayis who’s peacefully sleeping in his arms and can’t find it in his heart to move, he snuggles the boy closer to him and closes his eyes as well, letting sleep rush over him.


	9. Sleeping beauty

He takes more time to get home than he had originally planned, between the supporters, the team and his family who had come here to see him play, he should’ve known better. He hates feeling like he doesn’t take as much time as he should with his loved ones, he just really misses his son and wants to get home. After promising his mom, for the 42th times that he will go visit them for lunch next weekend, he finally leaves.

When he gets into his apartment he makes an effort to do as little noise as possible, he doesn’t want to wake any of the two angels that are probably fast asleep inside.

He enters the living room, surprised to hear that the TV is still on, a light is still on in a corner, illuminating the room with a warm and soft light. Presnel can’t control the huge smile that grows on his face at the sight of Julian holding Kayis closes against his chest, the toddler wrapped in a blanket, his head perfectly settled into his German’s neck, a tiny hand grabbing the soft fabric of his t-shirt as if his life depended on it.

Presnel takes his shoes off as well as his jacket, before coming to take his son from Julian’s arms, careful not to wake them up. He takes the baby with a lot of precautions for the child to remain asleep, which happens to be harder than he thought, with how tight Julian is holding Kayis against him. At least he’s cautious with his son, thinks Presnel. He finally manages to take his boy without waking anyone up. If it had been a nap, Presnel would’ve let Kayis sleep in Julian’s arms, but he couldn’t possibly imagine the cramps Julian would have if he had kept on holding the boy tightly against him all night long.

He climbs the stairs, kissing Kayis’ forehead before putting him into his bed.

When he comes back downstairs, Julian opens an eye, most likely alerted by the noise, or the lack of Kayis against him. He sees that Presnel is smiling at him.

“Feeling alright my sleeping beauty ?”

Julian chuckles while rubbing his eyes.

“Kayis?”

“I just got him into bed” his friend answers

Julian nods and stands up, stretching.

“I’m gonna go, you must be tired”

Presnel raises an eyebrow

“And go where ? It’s late, very late, you slept and you just woke up I’m not letting you drive while behind barely awake, you stay here, I told you earlier that you could take my bed, the offer still stands”

Julian weighs the pros and the cons, before eventually sitting back on the couch.

“Every time you find a way for me to stay the night” he says, a hint of accusation and amusement in his voice.

Presnel answers with a slightly smug grin “You know I like to sleep with you, mon bébé”

Julian closes his eyes, blaming it on his tiredness if only Presnel could not be making another one of his numerous jokes and be serious and he said that. Julian would have a heart attack if Presnel ever said those words and mean them.

He opens his eyes, and Presnel is still grinning, holding out his hand for him to grab.

“Come on, you said so yourself, I’m dead on my feet, let’s go to bed”

Julian stops thinking, if he keeps thinking he won’t be able to do anything and will freeze on the spot so he goes on autopilot mode and grabs the Frenchman’s hand, letting him lead them to the second floor of his apartment and into his bedroom.

Presnel let go of his hand when they enter his room and starts taking his clothes off, Julian looks away, trying not to stare, he is way too tired to control his gaze or any movements that could give him away.

“Are you going to sleep like this?” Kim asks, nodding to his sweatpants and training jacket

“Huh… Nah, you’re right, I’m gonna take them off” Julian grants, taking his training jacket off, from the corner of his eye he can see that Presnel’s just wearing his pair of boxers. He decides to keep his t-shirt on.

The Frenchman raises the covers and lays down into the bed, sighing in relief to finally let his exhausted body rest after training and an intense match. He pats the bed next to him and Julian resigned, takes place right next to him under the covers.

“The little man, wasn’t too hard, was he ?”

Julian smiles “He has been awesome, gave me huge smiles and hugs all day long”

Kim settles against his pillow “That’s my son, luckily I got here, otherwise another hour with you and he couldn’t live without you”

Julian laughs, adjusting himself in his friend’s bed as well.

When he turns to look at Presnel, he finds out that Presnel’s body is slightly facing him and the other man’s looking at him with something in his eyes that, if Julian didn’t know him, would be seen as tenderness. The Frenchman lifts one of his arm, and something in his eyes shifts, the hesitation is now crystal clear in them, while his body turns to face Julian a little bit more. Presnel gets closer to him, and eventually, let his arm fall back next to his own body. He turns back and cuts the lights off, making himself comfortable in the bed.

Now that it’s pitch black, Julian lets himself frowns. What just happened ? It seems to him that Presnel was making a move to hug him and at least take him in his arms, he did that often, but never when they were about to sleep. He usually ended up curled around Julian during the night when he was sleeping, but never before. But he didn’t do it, he had changed his mind. So it wasn’t what happened, Presnel hadn’t wanted to take Julian in his arms. That thought gave the older man a tiny pinch in the heart.

Presnel, next to him, keeps turning and turning, it seems that he can’t find a position that is comfortable for more than fifteen seconds. Julian closes his eyes, trying to find some sleep as well, he knows Kim will eventually find a solution and manage to sleep ; he isn’t worried.

A few minutes pass and Julian can feel that he’s falling back asleep, Presko has not moved for a while, which is a good sign.

That’s not the case.

Presnel sighs from the frustration of not being able to sleep despite the exhaustion that has conquered his entire body and turns his body for the umpteenth time, to face Julian, sliding his arm around the German’s waist who feels his body freeze, slumber he was in stops instantly, sleep leaving his body.

Presnel comes to rest against him, keeping his arm around his waist, his head against Julian’s shoulder, his nose brushing against the older man’s neck. 

If Julian was not fighting his inner urges, he’d laugh at Presnel’s position. The father was exactly on the same spot the son was in earlier on.

“Sorry, I can’t sleep when somebody’s with me, except when it’s with you. But usually, I end up behind in your arms so it calms me down” he whispers, as if to not break the moment, that seems so fragile, lost in time.

Julian breathes slowly, not knowing what to answer, nor what to do with his body.

Presnel doesn’t make it any easier for him by snuggling his face into his neck. He slightly tightens his grip around his waist, and lift his leg so his thigh can rest above Draxler’s own.

A few seconds pass, during while Julian tries to keep a steady and slow breath, he decides to let his own arm rest around Presnel’s, telling himself that staying there without doing anything doesn’t look very natural in such a scenario. 

To lighten his own mood when he feels himself getting dizzy, and mostly to calm himself Julian makes a joke.

“You say that your son is like you, but right now you’re the one doing what he did”

He feels Presnel’s hot breath against his throat when he smiles, and if Julian pays enough attention he can almost feel the Frenchman’s lips against his skin.

Silence falls back between them, only to be broken one last time by Presnel, who let his lips rest against Julian neck. They stay against his skin, way too long for a friendly kiss, but Julian tells himself that he’s imagining things again. When eventually Kim’s lips leave his skin, the defender snuggles his face into his friend’s neck.

“Goodnight, babe” he mumbles, already half asleep.

Julian answers with a kiss on his forehead, and less than a minute pass before he can feel Kim’s breathing slowing and becoming more even. He’s asleep.

*****

Presnel feels sleep slowly leaving his body, he can feel that his night has been a restful one and muse over the fact that he hasn’t slept that good, in what seems to be weeks.

He stretches in the bed and something does not feel right, the sheets are not completely cold yet, the bed, however, is empty. Where is Julian exactly ? He opens his eyes, taking leverage on his elbows, looking at the empty chair in the corner, where Julian had left his clothes on during the night. He sighs loudly and falls back into the mattress.

He checks his phone and sees that he received no message. Julian didn’t even have the decency to leave a message when he left.

Presnel stays there without moving, staring at his ceiling and eventually finds the strength to get up and go make himself some coffee.

He gets into the kitchen, still annoyed, but mostly hurt that Julian left without saying anything.

He raises his head while heading for the coffee maker, and a smile slowly grows back onto his face.

Of course Julian wouldn’t have left without a word or a text. He was standing right there, in the middle of his kitchen, Kayis on one hip, giving the baby boy his morning bottle. The midfielder doesn’t seem to have noticed Presnel’s presence yet. What Presnel have noticed, however, it that when they had gone to bed, Julian was wearing a t-shirt and his underwear, but he was now wearing his sweatpants but was shirtless. Whatever, Presnel told himself, and that was all that mattered.

Julian is smiling to the child while feeding him. He turns to face Kim when he hears a noise and his smile only grows wider. 

“Look Kayis, daddy’s awake” 

Presnel beams “Have you been awake for long?” 

“About half an hour. I made coffee if you want some” he adds, nodding to the coffee maker.

Kim kisses Kayis on his way the take a mug.

“Thanks Ju, such a sweetheart”

He comes back, hot coffee in hand and gives a kiss to the bottom of Julian’s neck

“Morning, mon bébé” he rests his chin on his friend’s shoulder, to look at his son from above it, smiling fondly at his baby son who laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this Presnel-centered chapter. Next chapter we're going to see the Mannschaft baby


	10. Back in Germany

Julian just arrived in Germany, he had travelled with Thilo, both are coming back home to play two games during the international break. They’re sitting in the back of the car which is taking them from the airport to the hotel the Mannschaft is staying at, the midfielder’s mind is busy elsewhere though. He seems incapable of focusing on the game about to come, his mind untiringly drifts away and brings him back to Presnel, his smile, back to Kayis and his wide eyes. His mind is torturing him, letting him hope that this short interlude he had could turn into his daily routine. 

Presnel had taken place in his arms and had fallen asleep in them, without asking for permission, as if it was the most natural thing to do ; as if it was a longtime habit they both had started taking a long time ago. He had woken up and started to hear Kayis babbling in his room, he had then started to untangle himself from Presnel, not without troubles, his friend had wrapped himself all over Julian’s body during the night to the point where the older man had to take his tee-shirt off because he had grown too hot to be comfortable. When he had gotten out of bed, he had put his sweatpants on and headed for the next door, to take the baby in his arms. The entire day had gone the same way, it was shocking how natural everything had seemed to be, and it had left a bittersweet taste in the German midfielder’s heart. He could almost touch what he could never have with Presnel.

Julian feels Thilo’s eyes on him several times, he’s pretty sure his silence must be quite confusing for his teammate so he turns his head and gives a small smile to the defender to reassure him. Julian uses their ride to the hotel to enjoy his last moments of calm and tranquillity, once they’ll be there, the reunion with their teammates will be loud, noisy, and never-ending, and will not give him an opportunity to rest.

His phone goes off and he can’t help but smile when he sees Kim’s name and his text, wishing him good luck for his game to come, telling him to say hello to Thilo for him. 

Julian does as he’s told and Thilo thanks him with a slightly amused smile.

When they arrive at the hotel, they get through the journalists quite easily and both men take a deep breath once they enter the hall of the hotel.

The reunion is, as they had expected, very loud. Joshua makes a remark to Julian, pointing out the sullen expression on his face, asking him if everything’s alright.

Thilo lets out a quick but loud laugh when he hears the number 18 of the Mannschaft.

“Yes, he’s alright, he’s been in a mood for the entire journey, except when Kimpembé was texting him, all of the sudden, his life somehow found meaning again” teases the younger man

Julian feels himself blushing, and lowers his head as he hears his teammates laughing along with Kehrer, almost shameful. He knows for a fact that the guys are not making fun of him, but of the situation, yet he can’t help feeling awful about it. Thilo’s comment consolidates for him the idea that his feelings for Presnel are not as subtle as he would like for them to be. Julian is conscious that a certain kind of paranoia is eating his mind up, each time someone says something about their relationship he sees red, when in fact those comments are only ever meant to be friendly and teasing, like those they make about Leon and Joshua both in Bayern and the Mannschaft, or those Presnel had told him about concerning Antoine and Paul for the French national team, it’s never accusing, never ill-minded. Yet, in his case, his feelings for Presnel are real and he can’t get away from them, so he’s constantly cautious. 

This remark can only be added to the long list of all those which came before, ever the reminder that he needs to be cautious. If his feelings were to be known, it would be the end for him, the UEFA would never give their support to a player who had feelings for another man, the supporters would ask for his head on a plate, his teammates would most likely leave him by himself, either too afraid to be around him, or too afraid to be seen with him and therefore, associated to his inclinations, but worst of all, if his feelings were to be known, it would the end of his friendship with Presnel. How could the Frenchman remain his friend, if he was aware of his feelings towards him?

A long shiver runs down Julian’s back at the mere thought and he has to be realistic; the men football world is far as ever to have an openly queer player. He raises his head and gives a strained smile to his friends, before waving at Kevin at the other end of the hotel’s hall.

The reunion among the teammates continues with an outpouring amount of laughter and embraces. Julian tries to chase to image of Presnel from his mind, he needs to focus on his games to come.

They each get upstairs in their rooms, one after the other as the day goes by, to open their suitcases and settle in their hotel rooms, the number 7 shares his room with Thilo. This arrangement is fine with him, Thilo is not annoying when he sleep, doesn’t move around much and doesn’t snore.

When he opens his suitcase to get his things ready in the hotel room’s closets, he notices a pink hoodie which doesn’t belong to him, that he recognizes right away, it’s Presnel’s. How come it currently is in his suitcase ? He takes it in his hands, trying to understand what his friend’s hoodie is doing in his suitcase. He’s clearly not the one who put it there, but what other options does that leave him with ? Presnel couldn’t have been the one to let his hoodie inside Julian’s baggage, he wasn’t there when Julian was packing, he had been alone at his own place. When did he start having the hoodie at his place anyway ? Never, the answer is never, it was Presnel’s, Julian didn’t have anything to do with it. Yet, the piece of clothing branded Givenchy is right here in Julian’s hands. He sits on his hotel bed, confused, and takes the piece of clothing up to his nose without thinking, as if he needed some assurance that it was, in fact, Presnel’s. No doubt left, the scent is Kim’s, and Julian barely controls a smile that threatens to bloom on his face. Fate seems to be particularly fond of making him suffer today though when Kehrer opens the door to take possession of the room as well.

Julian rushes to take the hoodie off of his face, but the damage is already done. Thilo raises his eyebrows, surprised.

“It’s new?” he asks, perplexed, then adds, without waiting for an answer “Kimpembé’s got the same one, right?”

“Huh… It’s actually his”

Why did he say that? He could have lied, said it was his, that he had just bought it. But no… Instead, he now has to why, first, he had his friend’s hoodie in his possession, then secondly and most importantly, why in hell he was keeping it close to his face.

Thilo’s eyebrows turn into a frown, but he doesn’t add anything.

Julian takes a deep breath as his teammate busies himself with unpacking. The midfielder puts Presnel’s hoodie back in his suitcase, as to forget the very awkward moment he just had. He knows now that the international break is not going to go easy on his nerves.


End file.
